


Elide and Lorcan fight because of something Elide did

by sarah_bae_maas



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-07 15:49:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16856878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarah_bae_maas/pseuds/sarah_bae_maas
Summary: Posted Nov 16, 2016 on my tumblr sarah-bae-maas





	Elide and Lorcan fight because of something Elide did

“What have you done, Elide?”

Lorcan looked utterly shattered, and Elide knew exactly why.

She knew it was because the smell of that male was attached to her skin, knew it was because of how obvious what she had just done was.

“It doesn’t matter what I did as long as it worked – and it did. So you can reserve your judgement for someone who cares, Lorcan.” She snapped at him.

How dare he judge her for what she had done! So what if she had slept with that fae male so that she could find out her queen’s location and tell Prince Rowan? What did it matter that every time she took a step she felt searing pain between her legs because of how rough he had been when taking her? Why was it relevant that it had been her first time giving herself over to someone like that?

“I’m not judging you, Elide. But I told you that you didn’t need to bed him! I assured you that there would be another way-”

“But this was the quickest!” She interrupted. “We don’t have any time to spare.  Aelin has already been missing for weeks now and it kills me every time I think about my queen locked away God’s know where! What I did was for the best – so get that snarky look off your face and leave me, and _my_ decisions, alone.”

His nostrils flared in anger and she scoffed at his emotion.

“You are so selfish.” She remarked.

With that Elide left him standing in the middle of the woods to join Rowan and Gavriel at their camp.

_____

After Elide had gone to bed with one of Maeve’s sentries, that wasn’t blood-sworn to her, the first thing she did was tell her queen’s lover the information she had gained from him. Rowan had thanked her profusely and wasted no time in starting to plan an escape with Gavriel.

Lorcan was there too. When he had heard all he did was stare at her.

It wasn’t until she left their hidden camp in a forest on the outskirts of Doranelle that Lorcan had confronted her about what she had done.

It was true, she had told him of her plan to fuck the sentry for information about Aelin’s whereabouts and he had told her that she needn’t. But in her eyes it was the only way. Time was of the essence and the longer Aelin was in that bitch’s clutches the harder it would be to save her.

Originally Elide had thought she might try and seduce Cairn – she wouldn’t have that confidence if she hadn’t already seduced another insufferable male fae obsessed with the Dark Queen. She soon realised however that he had most likely been ordered to keep the location of Aelin a secret – even though Elide knew he was despicable enough to trade that kind of information for the matronage of a woman. And despite Elide wanting to do this – with whoever it took to accomplish it – the thought of that monster touching her skin made her want to throw up her measly lunch. To have the same hands that flayed Aelin caress her skin was even too much for her to handle. So she settled for one of the prison sentries that she had heard escorted Aelin while she was in her iron prison.

Elide couldn’t get the way Lorcan had looked at her out of her head.

He had been disgusted with her.

And it was infuriating.

He was the one that summoned Maeve in the first place, he was the one who had ruined any chance of them having a relationship and yet he had the audacity to judge her? He could go impale himself. Elide wouldn’t give a single shit.

Except she would.

And she hated to admit that his judgement also hurt her already fragile feelings.

She could feel the tears building in her eyes at the thought but she stubbornly restrained herself. She would not cry. She’d had plenty of horrible, feral, atrocious things happen to her and this would not break her. This feeling would fade and Elide would eventually stop caring for the fae male who had broken her heart and stop gagging because of the fae male that now held any last shred of her innocence.

“Elide, please stop and just talk to me.”

Elide huffed but conceded.

From here she could see the faint light of their campfire and knew that Rowan and Gavriel would be able to hear them. If she wanted to escape this conversation all she would have to do is summon one of them.

“Please look at me,” Lorcan whispered.

She rolled her eyes but did as he asked.

His eyes were ringed in red and his dirty, dark hair reflected the moonlight. He was so rugged from their journey through Wendlyn – she now knew exactly why people thought of him as the incarnation of Hellas himself.

“It is truly astounding to me that you have the audacity to be disappointed by me when-” She started,

“I’m not disappointed with you, Elide. I’m sad.” He finished for her.

“Why are you sad?” She questioned.

They were standing only feet apart but he came closer to her anyway. His hands were linked in front of him as if he was praying and pain was clear on his strained face.

“Because the first time you let someone in like that it shouldn’t be because of something like this. We would’ve found another way, Elide. I hate the thought of you doing that to yourself-”

“It wasn’t rape, Lorcan. We were two consenting adults-”

“I know you were but that doesn’t mean anything. You are your own woman and who you take to bed is irrefutably your choice – I just hate the thought of you doing that with a male who doesn’t respect you and give you the love and attention you deserve-”

“Like you would have?!” Elide shouted. This was very quickly turning into a full-blown argument. “As you said Lorcan it is _my_ choice who I take to bed. What I did potentially saved the person _you_ put into peril, and I’m sure Aelin isn’t the first person you’ve thrown into the flames like this.”

She sneered at him and went to turn away but was stopped by a hand on her arm.

“This isn’t about me. It doesn’t matter what I would’ve done and how I would’ve worshiped you. It matters how it was completely unnecessary. I don’t want you to think that the price of winning this war will be sacrificing yourself.” He pleaded with her.

Her chest rose with furious breaths and she couldn’t help the snarl that escaped her.

“ _I will do whatever I can to win this gods-damned war!_ I don’t care about virtue or morals or any of that _bullshit_ when everything I love can be saved! When the people that I love and cherish can be saved! Nothing any man could do would ever hurt me as much as seeing them distraught. I dreamed – I dreamed for so long that one day I would be reunited with my court. I used to think it was some fairy tale and I would be lucky if I ever left my tower.” Elide couldn’t resist her tears any longer. “But I can’t do it on my own.” She cried. “This world needs Aelin, and if I can in any way get her back I will. I would destroy myself so that she could save Terrasen – save Erilea.”

She shook off his grasp on her arm but didn’t move away from him.

“You have no right to judge me or my actions when you have no idea what it is like to have something like that. I am nothing – _nothing_ – and yet Aelin embraced me with open arms. She single-handedly gave me my home back. All these years I believed she was dead, and the fact that she’s not proves that Terrasen will prevail and hope isn’t lost! When we were in those marches and I saw her there with Aedion and Manon a weight that had been so heavy on my chest lifted as if it was a feather in the wind.  I cannot begin to explain-” the tears were freely flowing from Elide now, the young woman overcome with emotion. “-how wonderful it is to have people care about you.”

She closed her eyes, picturing the family waiting for her across the sea. Aedion with his hair so golden and the sword of Orynth at his side. Manon with her dutiful thirteen and wyvern. This image was what she’d thought of to stop herself from crying when that male had entered her.

“I would never judge you for any decision that you make, Elide, as they are your own. But all this talk about your queen and home and never once have I had an inkling that you think you deserve to have these things. You may not care what I think but believe this, Elide Lochan, when I tell you that you deserve happiness and a life just as much as any other member of your court, that you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for.”

He spoke so earnestly, with so much certainty, that Elide nearly believed him.

“You being with that fae male…” He continued, “You aren’t wrong in your assumptions that I wish it could’ve been me. I have done a lot of awful things in my life but what I would’ve done to you would be nothing short of godly. I would rather Annieth smite me than hurt you. The last thing I want is for you to be in pain and I can see how much this has - even if you claim you’re fine. You may have lied and manipulated yourself across the continent but you can’t hide your feelings from me. We’re too far gone for that. You may not believe in yourself, Elide, but I do. And I will for the rest of my immortal life.”

She fell – collided – into him at that. She needed his warmth, needed his embrace even if she was still livid with him. He wrapped his arms so tightly around her that she felt herself being lifted off the ground and his face bury itself in her neck.

He was shaking – with fury or despair she didn’t know. All that mattered was for this small moment the fact that he had caused all this to begin with flew form her mind.

Her arms were around his neck and she was clinging to his hair. She wrapped her legs around him as best she could and he responded by placing a hand under one of her thighs to help support her.

“I’m so mad at you,” She whispered.

“I know.”

“I don’t know how I can forgive you for what you’ve done.”

“I will spend the rest of my life trying, Elide. I want to be the kind of male that deserves to go to Perranth with you.”

“I couldn’t bear it if you went anywhere else. It just hurts so much to look at you sometimes.”

He squeezed her tight once more then let her go.

Elide stood in front of him, her hands now latched onto his shirt. She couldn’t look him in the eyes though. Not yet.

“Does it hurt much? Are you in a lot of pain? I can tell when you walk.” He asked her. Elide knew he wasn’t referring to her leg.

She nodded in answer and his face fell.

“I’ll make you some tea and you can rest. Rowan will likely be up all night and he’ll need my help but I’ll tend to you first. You can have my bedroll to sleep on as well as yours. You may as well use Gavriel’s and Rowan’s too – they won’t need them tonight and are well and truly used to sleeping on the ground. The added padding will help relieve some of the… tension.”

He started to walk away from her and towards the others. Their small moment was over, but Elide was grateful it had happened.

“Lorcan?” She called after him.

He turned back towards her and raised his eyebrows in question.

“If she forgives you – if the day comes where Aelin forgives you - then I will to.”

His gaze studied her before nodding.

“Then let’s go save the Heir of Fire.”


End file.
